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Child Abuse

Spanking Children is Often Unintended Sexual Abuse

This is my first video on YouTube! I have decided to come forward and speak face-to-face, so you can know that I am a real person.

I also want to share some clarifications about this video:

When I recorded it I was unable to see my notes. This video was completely unpracticed, but the result is that I was not as clear as I might have been.

When I say, “…forgiveness …please stop that,” I meant that urging and advising victims to forgive their perpetrators is pushing them in exactly the wrong direction. In my case, this was a huge problem, as was continued contact with my parents. What I needed to heal was to, at last, stand inside my own skin as a helpless child and feel, in real time, what I had felt back then. Only then, after I re-claimed myself with compassion, did fast progress come to me. Trying to understand my parents had been pulling me out of myself and away from my own point of view. Misplaced pressure to forgive can really hurt people; this has probably caused many suicides.

Meanwhile, I actually believe that I was “sexualized” so young, back when I was still using diapers. No child in early childhood should have to deal with that. Spanking molested me.

My anger is directed at those who refuse to acknowledge the sexual consequences of being spanked, paddled or belted in childhood.